Abandon Imposters Syndrome Forever with These 3 Keys to a Better Mindset
Everyone deals with imposter syndrome at some point! It’s super annoying and can really throw a wrench in the cogwheels of your mind.
This is not exclusive to entrepreneurship. You can feel it when applying for jobs you really want. You can even experience this when you first come to terms with your sexuality. I had so much imposter syndrome when I came out. (P.S. HAPPY NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY!!!)
Imposter syndrome is the doubt and fear that you’re going to be found out as a fraud. It’s all root in unworthiness and a scarcity mindset.
And isn’t it interesting that a lot of the things that cause imposter syndrome to come up are things we do that break the mold?
Coming out and no longer fitting into a cishet society. Being a non-cishet white male going after a major corporate position. Starting your own business and not following the standard and accepted 9-5.
I’ll let you into a little secret…
If you feel you have imposter syndrome, that’s a sign that you are on the right track. And once you overcome those feelings of shame, unworthiness, and limiting beliefs, the world is yours. You can literally do anything.
Like my girl, Jane Fonda, says, “car“y yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man.”
Here are the three keys to overcoming imposter syndrome!
Overcome Scarcity and Embrace an Abundance Mindset
The mentality of scarcity is a tricky little thing. It disguises itself as realism. Yet it tells you, you aren’t good enough to be or do whatever you want. The scarcity mindset tells you to be realistic about your goals and instills doubts and limitations onto your possibilities.
Unfortunately, most people around you are probably living in that mindset too. It’s like a double whammy when you start following your heart... then imposter syndrome gives you a little nudge (or a big punch in the face) of doubt.
Then to have the people in your life that should love and support you in following your heart, double down on the punch in the face by saying the exact same things your imposter syndrome is telling you.
“Are you sure you’re qualified for that?” “Are you sure you want to do that?” “But what if…blah, blah, blah….”
For entrepreneurs, they like to tell you that only two percent actually “make it,” or whatever that stat is. They don’t tell you that those who “didn’t make it” actually quit because they listened to the naysayers and imposter syndrome.
I’m not saying it’s easy to abandon imposter syndrome and go against what everyone says and everyone’s judgments. It’s absolutely not, and that is because it goes against our natural instinct to belong. When we feel like our people are rejecting us, it affects our sense of safety.
Back in our hunter-gatherer days, if we got rejected by our community, we were f***ed! And that sense of fear is still there in the little lizard brains.
But we are now more evolved and wiser beings, right? And just like we can choose to stay in the mindset we have always known, we can choose to think differently.
Introducing the abundance mindset! This absolute queen knows that there are no limits! You can see that the possibilities are out there. Examples of other people getting that same thing you want, whether that’s being a successful entrepreneur or being a happily married queer person. There are examples of success everywhere.
There ARE opportunities for you. There ARE clients who will love working with you. There IS that dream job just waiting for you. There ARE people out there just waiting for you to walk into their life and make them better.
Once you see that and choose to believe in yourself, there is nothing that can stand in your way.
Identify Your Worth
Some people have had pessimistic, realistic, or just plain abusive families. Some people naturally get this “stay in your lane” garbage from society because of their race or gender. And there is an unfortunate many that get hit with both.
When you have people inside and outside your home putting you “in your place,” that can directly impact your self-worth. It can give the ugly green monster in your head all the fuel it needs to tear you down and make you feel like 💩.
But just like the mindset shift above, you can choose to see your self-worth differently. You can decide to step into your power and believe in yourself and your abilities to reach your goals.
If you are ready to overcome your demons, then it’s time to change the narrative.
First, identify the limiting beliefs you have around accomplishing your goals. Write them down… go ahead. I’ll wait…
Now, where did these little devils come from? Write those down too. Keeping a record of these is good because you’ll want to revisit them when your old narrative eventually starts poking around your mind.
Now, rewrite those beliefs to ones more aligned with your goals. Pro tip: Write them in the present tense.” I am,” not “I will,” or ”I’m gonna.”
Repeat these affirmations as needed. Post them on your walk. Make a vision board with your affirmations all around pictures of the future vision of your life. Write them down or say them out loud or to yourself in the mirror daily.
With consistency, the old belief will be crowded out by the new ones, and your power will be taken back. Ready to be used as a force for good!
Adopt a Growth Mindset
You know how I feel about a growth mindset. If you don’t, here’s last week’s blog post, where I discuss it.
In a nutshell, a growth mindset is a new way of viewing challenges and setbacks.
You can be on top of the world and feel like you have this mindset thing licked, and then a setback happens. Your imposter syndrome and old beliefs see an opportunity to step into the spotlight again and will come rearing their ugly heads again.
This is where the notes from the above section and a growth mindset come in handy. Rooted in abundance and confidence, a growth mindset says, “well, this sucks, but I can learn and grow from it.” You start to see the opportunities instead of the obstacles.
Setback: Lost a client.
Fixed/Scarcity Mindset: I must suck at what I do. I’m just lucky anyone wants to work with me at all, I guess. Maybe I should go back to my old job. Maybe this entrepreneur stuff isn’t for me.
Growth Mindset: What could I have done better? Was this really a loss, or did I gain an opening for someone more aligned with me?
Fixed/Scarcity Mindset: I’m unloveable. I will never find someone to love me the way I want. Maybe I’m too picky. Maybe I’m a bad partner…
Growth Mindset: What are the things I could improve in myself? What are the things I am going to look for in a partner from now on? I learned…
See how that works? You’re not negating your mistakes. You see them as an opportunity for growth and a stepping stone on your path to your goal. It’s not limiting, and it’s not as mean.
Bonus tip: Start talking to yourself like you would talk to someone you dearly love, like your child or best friend. Start believing in yourself as much as JVN believes in you.
I hope this was helpful. It’s time to get over the ugly green monster in your head and become the person you were always meant to be. Be the rebel! Break free from the grey path of normalcy and start walking the rainbow path of possibilities.
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